Prevailing Winds
How do you avoid being knocked around by life? Is it even possible? As life returns to a new normal after a year of fierce winds, I wonder about this in relation to the challenges of everyday life—of simply being human. I’m not going to lie; I’ve let the winds of life knock me around more times than I would like to admit. Times when I forgot my own strengths and what nourished me most.
I am intrigued by the fact that when life gets overwhelming, we tend to abandon ourselves. During times of high stress, it is true that we usually have less time and less resources. But, why is it that our own physical, emotional, or spiritual health is often the first thing that gets neglected?
If you were here with me right now, we could probably debate this for hours! I present two possibilities (knowing there are many more). The first is that the things that knock us around—work or lack of work, needs of loved ones, cultivating relationships, simply too much to do-- are often parts of life that are both necessary and demanding. It is very easy to caught up in the doing in an attempt to get relief and make some headway. However, in times of constant doing, we can lose touch with our greatest strengths such as our wisdom, humor, and self-compassion. They simply go offline and are no longer accessible to us.
The second possibility is that the very idea of taking care of ourselves in some way on a daily basis might be so incredibly foreign to us that we aren’t even conscious of how little we are actually doing it.
I believe that when we make it a priority to take brief moments throughout the day to provide some self-respite, we are more able to bend, not break. Solutions to problems may become clearer, perception might actually shift, or in all likelihood, we would simply have more energy to keep moving forward.
The winds of life will always prevail. There will be times when life gets out of balance, when there is too much to do, the responsibilities too overwhelming, the emotional turmoil too great. This is precisely when it is vital to tune in to what keeps us strong, grounded, and firmly rooted. What feeds the soul and reminds us why our own personal “winds” are so important and precious?
Simple, Short, Sanity Strategies:
1. Breathe – simply bringing your awareness to the breath creates a small space to find a moment of clarity. Exhaling for twice as long as the in breath has a way of soothing the nervous system and bringing a sense of calm.
2. Move – any movement, preferably outdoors, can help bring the body and the mind back online. Simple stretches focusing on the sensations in the body or a brisk 5-minute walk can be restorative.
3. Connect – Taking brief moments to check in with a friend, partner, or co-worker. If you haven’t watched Dr. Kelly McGonigal’s TED talk on befriending stress, I highly recommend if only to hear her describe a function of the hormone oxytocin or the “love hormone.” In essence, when we are stressed, we are biologically programmed to seek out those who love and support us. (https://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend?language=en).
4. Laugh– Hands down my favorite strategy. Humor can be immensely helpful when it comes to putting things back in perspective—not sarcastic or spiteful humor—kind hearted, plain old silliness!
My challenge for you: Perhaps give some thought not to what is knocking you around, but whether or not you are caring for yourself rather than forgetting, abandoning or, denying yourself. Can you identify your strengths and what keeps you grounded and stable in everyday life? If not, give yourself permission to reflect on what this might be for you. Think about not only where you are investing your time but asking, is it nourishing? What really feeds you? As always, I’d love to hear your answers or help you explore this more deeply.